The Library

submissive's views

by mstrsgtspvt             

         Once upon a time in the distant land of "VANILLA", there lived a sad lonely lady. She lived a dull and unsatisfying life with the other local "VANILLAS" till one day in the dream land of Yahoo, she had the good fortune of meeting a tall handsome Prince named NOVDOM. They talked and talked for hours. Finding so much in common, realizing right away that they had made a new and wonderful friend in each other. Lady's heart was light for the first time in months. Then, on about the third day of talking, the Prince, knowing that he must by honest above all else, asked Lady if she knew what his name NOVDOM meant. "No", says Lady, "Please do tell!" Prince tells Lady that NOV was for novice-- DOM was for Dominant. He was a Novice Dominant--searching for answers to feelings of D/s that he had always been hiding. Lady didn't understand this "D/s". "Please explain!" she cried. Prince explains as much as possible to Lady, knocking her world off its axis. She was so frightened by these unusual ideas he was speaking of. Lady runs away from Prince even though her heart was breaking. Lady was aware that she had found some very special qualities in Prince, and had already felt the feeling growing for this wonderful Man. She cried for hours, then dried her eyes and decided that she and Prince could be friends. She didn't have to know about the unusual life he was searching for. She never expected to meet him in Real Life so why not continue to talk to him in the wonderful dream world of cyber?

         Lady sent Prince a message telling him of this. They began spending hours each day, talking and getting to know each other better. To make a long story short, after several weeks of talking online and on the phone, Lady found that a spark has begun to burn in her, a need to know more about this D/s thing. A need was growing in HER to obey anything Prince said. Being the good Man he is, He never ever tried to sway Lady to his way of thinking, never coaxed or ordered her to follow his lead. He was always kind and gentle with her. They finally decided to meet for lunch to be able to just see each other face to face. No expectations, no plans for ANYTHING other than lunch. Once Lady looked into the beautiful, warm and honest eyes of her Prince, she was lost forever. That day began a wonderful relationship, one that began as good friends, then lovers, very special lovers. Lady was hopelessly in love with Prince in a short time. Finding that her every thought was of him, how she could please him, how she could make him smile, how she could make his life easier and more pleasant (CAN WE SAY SUBMISSIVE??).

        One day, a few months into the relationship, Prince told Lady that he must tell her something, knowing that he may lose her forever. He tells her that he is searching for a woman to train as his submissive. Lady again is heart broken--but only for a moment, because she finally admits to herself that SHE wants to be his submissive--SHE waants to be trained to be the submissive he wants and deserves. SHE has the deep need to be Dominated by this powerful Man--a need to serve, to please, to obey. Lady asks Prince if he would please consider HER as the woman he is searching for. Prince feels that she only says this to be with him, but decides to give her a chance to prove herself worthy of his training. He worked long and hard to teach her the ways he wanted to be served and cared for--the way he wanted HER to act when with him--the way she was to address Him--the things she was NOT to do or say at any time. He was very patient with her, rewarding her with praise when she was good and punishing her when she did not follow his rules. Their relationship became 24/7 when Lady moved from the land of "Vanilla" to be with her great and beautiful Master.

        One year and one day from the day they met for the first time face to face, Prince collared Lady in the presence of many of their friends. This was one of the happiest days of Lady's life. One of many, many more happy days she plans to spend with her Wonderful Master. Yes, she may NOW call him MASTER! A word that describes in a small way how she feels about the great Man that has taken her into his life and blessed her with his love. Lady will do all within her humble power to make sure they have millions of years of happiness together. THE BEGINNING

          Yes, folks, I know, most stories end with THE END. But this is NOT the end for Master and myself. This IS the beginning. The beginning of a lifetime we both deserve. When I was asked to write from the viewpoint of a new submissive, I had no idea what I should say. But, once I began, the words just kept coming. Master and I wholeheartedly believe in the BDSM lifestyle that we are fortunate enough to share. My greatest joy is making Him happy and comfortable in our daily lives. We DO have a very special relationship and are fortunate in that we are able to live this life completely and fully. I NEVER want Master to ease up on my training. His needs and desires are first in my thoughts when I wake each day and the last thing I think of when I fall asleep in His mighty arms at night. There could never be a better Master, a better teacher, (a better LOVER), a better friend or a better example for me than the Man I now call Master. As a new submissive, and new to the BDSM life, I have discovered new things about myself almost daily, the feelings of contentment, fulfillment, completion, inner peace and, most of all, SELF WORTH. I feel alive! Most of all, the joy I feel when I see the glow of pride in His eyes as I accomplish a goal He has set for me. The pride I have in knowing that I please Him by showing respect to Him before others. Respect that He has earned by His treatment of me. The heights He takes me to!! The excitement when He takes me past a previous limit. Satisfaction in knowing that he will NEVER EVER try to push me past the one and only true HARD LIMIT that I have. Pride in the fact that He knows this one thing is the ONLY thing I will tell HIm NO about, and stick to without any doubt. Comfort in knowing that I can, and do, trust Him with my very life. Joy in being able to give Him the total surrender of my heart, mind, body, and soul. Trust in knowing He will take care of my needs and safety.

         If it were a possible/logical thing to do, I would beg my Master to fold me up each morning and place me in the pocket over His heart in order to be able to be near Him all day. MY heart beats because HIS does, MY eyes see because His see, MY ears hear because my Master's ears hear, the blood flows through my veins for HIM, every breath I take is because I MUST breath in order to be able to take care of Him. My gift to my Master is MY total and complete submission and surrender to Him. I am like a child in the sense that I NEED and WANT to be controlled by my Dominant. I NEED and WANT rules to follow. I NEED the punishment when I do not follow the rules. And I NEED the praise I receive when I follow them. I NEED the feeling of helplessness when I am being flogged or caned by Master. As I am suspended, my mind drifts to the place where I know I am safe and just enjoy the sensation of the flogger hitting my back. Intermingled with the flogging comes the pleasurable sensation of Master's wonderful hands on my body. Making sure at all times that I am NOT being injured. I know, without a doubt, He will never injure me or cause me more "pain" than I can endure. As I am lying on the table and he is waxing me, I can feel the warmth of the wax and His gentle touch. Those two sensations take me to that wonderful place in my mind knowing at all times that I am safe in His hands. This is just another example of my total and complete trust in Him.

         My words may seem a bit drastic or dramatic, and some may not believe what I have written about my feelings for my Master and my joy in being His submissive. For those, I feel sorry. There are many more that will understand and agree. To you, I say THANK YOU!

         Humility is the first way I have grown. The exercises practiced in D/s often help me to become more humble. I do not react as quickly and have learned to bite my tongue. I refrain from biting comments, at least publicly, that I used to refer to as "teasing." We do joke and play a lot, but I have learned that I do not have to be the one who has to have the last word, or the better comment - especially when it's a smart ass one. D/s has given me a lot of freedoms i never had. When one surrenders or gives up one's power to another, it takes a lot of the stresses of life and certain responsibilities off. They go with the power. Decision making is no longer difficult. When in a D/s relationship, I have someone to ask, no matter how trivial the question. I have gained the freedom to be very "simple". I am no longer the one who has to figure everything out. I have gained a tremendous amount of sexual freedom. I no longer feel guilty about my sexuality, no matter how "strange" a fantasy I may have. I have learned to be much more sexual, and the BDSM has been quite an education in itself :). I have also increased my pain tolerance level, and this gives me great security, along with feeling that I have pleased.

         My self esteem has improved. I have learned that it is okay not to be perfect and that learning new things is not something to be ashamed of. Another area where D/s has helped me to grow is in handling my children. I am no longer a "softy" although I still have a big heart. I am much more consistent in teaching them manners and good behavior. I no longer let things "slide" a lot. If I say, "Do this.....", I make sure it gets done now. D/s has taught me how to communicate more openly and honestly. I used to think I was very honest, and sometimes even blunt about it, but since entering into this lifestyle I have learned much, much deeper levels of honesty and how to communicate much more thoroughly than ever before. It is often the little things that go unsaid in relationships that do the most damage and cause resentment. No matter how trivial it may seem, carrying things from the past into our present with us, is a a no-no. This is a great freedom in itself.

         My overall efficiency in doing things and getting things done has improved. I am more motivated, when I know that there is an immediate price to pay for laziness. Things I used to use as "reasons", I have learned really were excuses after all. Through this lifestyle, much of the past is being worked through and released for me. Some of the old ghosts are gone, and can haunt me no more. The inner rage from previous emotional abuse and turmoil has been calmed a lot. In other words, I am learning to forgive those who have hurt me in the past.

         Yes, that is exactly what I am saying. Many D/ser's seem to be pretty spiritual. Many believe that working hard and being the best you can be, trying not to ever hurt others, to continue growing inside and out, is a good way to live. Before going any further, I want to stress that all I have to share is my own opinion, strength, and hope.

         Personally, I do subscribe to a particular religion. I do believe that a relationship with God is essential to the healthy human spirit. I believe that every religion has good things to offer. I would never try to say that any one of them is the end all and the be all. I believe that the bible is correct, and that if one follows the principles set forth in it, such as the ten commandments, one will live a much happier life.  I also believe that we are responsible to always continue growing, always striving to become better people. Each of us has an individual path for growth. I think it is absolutely essential to never judge another's path. "Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged." I try to live by this. I am not God, therefore, what right do I have to judge the path that someone else is following?

         It is my belief that the bible actually supports D/s relationships. There are numerous instances of a wife referring to her husband as "Master", along with guidelines for each in how to be better for the other. Some of the same principles in D/s, like learning your partner, knowing them as well as yourself, communication, and meeting each others needs are actually commanded. Although most slavery in the bible was not consensual, the guidelines given for slaves then could be applicable for those who serve as consensual slaves today.